Own Your Feelings
August 27, 2009
Sometimes when I need to correct, discipline or speak strongly to someone about an issue I get their feelings thrown back in my face. As if anything wrong they have done gets forgiven and forgotten if they can turn their emotions to their benefit. They use their feelings as a weapon or deterrent away from the real issue at hand. And for a while, probably due to societal influence, I was falling for it. I would feel guilty and back down and the problem would never really get addressed properly or effectively. But I have come to learn that this distraction is a deception. People don’t want to own up to the consequences or receive correction about their choices, attitudes and life decisions. I have started responding by teaching people that I am not responsible for their feelings; I am responsible for Pastoring this church to the best of my ability and helping people become who God has created them to become. If their feelings get hurt along the way then so be it. The majority of the time these emotions are self-induced and do not reflect the true nature and intent of the corrector. It is just a diversion; a mere ploy to dodge responsibility. At any rate, hurt feelings is a small price to pay if the result is God’s plan.
Uniqueness
August 19, 2009
This is an old newsletter article I wrote several years ago:
My son makes me proud! He has a tender heart and is a loving big brother. He has many of my characteristics (I only notice the good ones), as well as his mother’s. He was conceived from a mixture of our genes, blood, DNA, etc., but he is not a clone. Jefferson is unique.
Like any kid, Jefferson enjoys sports, play station, and movies. But lately, he has been asking me to play chess with him. I didn’t even know what chess was until at least the sixth grade, much less enjoy playing it. The way he picks up various instruments easily, would rather play with his pet than play football, and would rather stay in class and finish his art work to his specifications instead of going to recess personifies God’s creative uniqueness. Each person is formed in God’s image, born of a man and a woman, into an extraordinary individual.
Many times we don’t appreciate differences if we can’t relate to them. A tendency to not acknowledge the benefits of rare qualities in others lends itself to shortsighted rationalizations and stereotypy. The contributions an individual can make should not be based on similarities alone, but the unique differences innately berthed in all of us by the Creator. “Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous–and how well I know it.” Psalm 139:14
